Tyra Proclaims end of show, world weeps...with joy.

In a shocking announcement today, Tyra Banks declared that she will not return to her day time talk show after 5, nauseating, years. Tyra's decision has not come soon enough. In a world rife with war, famine, disease, and catastrophe, her announcement brings a sliver of light to a rapidly darkening world. People around the Globe took to the streets and rejoiced in the news that her hour too long show will no longer torture those looking for something decent to watch during the day time.

Although very few have actually seen the T.V. show, just the knowledge that such a self righteous, ego-centric bitch, that turned every episode into a discussion about her own insecurities is finally off the air; brings hope that evil tyranny can be crushed anywhere.

"I may have Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri's repressive government to deal with every day; and I never know if I will be taken from this Earth by stray bullet, or suicide bomber at any moment, but at least I know that Tyra Banks is no longer polluting the World with her self-righteous, self-proclaimed "empowering" diaherra she passes off as day time TV." Said Muhammad Ali Sieva of Tehran, Iran. He further added: "I know that justice cannot be won for all of humanity over night, but we must fight as one mind against dictators, terrorists, and over-hyped former super-models that get to be on TV shows because they used to be pretty."

Tyra has not just limited her television ambitions to her terrible talk show. She also has been a a part of "America's Next top Model." and "True Beauty." two truly shallow shows that mascaraed as one showing inner beauty and another showing outer. In reality they both re-enforce a stereotype that true beauty comes from being stupid and possessing an ability to throw up on command. Tyra thinks she is adding to the self esteem of young women everywhere, but in reality she is the turpentine on their thinly painted souls.

Many picked Tyra to usurp Operah as the queen of day time T.V. in 2011 when Operah calls it quits after 25 years on television, however experts agree that Operah's obvious battle with weight fluctuation, unstable relationships, and terrible self esteem relates to average day time television viewer far better than Tyra's pretend weight issues, and self esteem problems. She will never be able to fake the train wreck that is Oprah's personal life, and in turn make others feel better that their own train wreck isn't that bad.

"Tyra obviously has never struggled with her own image, when I was purging half my fridge in the summer of 2000 after a terrible breakup, she was on the cover of hundreds of magazines. I'm not saying she didn't purge, but it was cuz it made her look great, not because she wanted to kill herself." Said Stacey McDonald of Atlanta, Ga. "I for one don't think I would watch if Tyra took over Oprah's show. I bet that bitch would give the whole audience a gift certificate for LipoSuction, and then claim she loves everyone for who they are and not what they look like."

One thing is for sure that Tyra is going in the right direction in the number of Television shows she stars in. Climate change, national security, health care reform, a plummeting economy, religious wars, ethnic cleansing. energy crisis, and world hunger is still a front runner in the world's problems, but if we can't solve those within our life time, at least by 2080, that bitch will be no where near the public eye, and hopefully the physcological damage she has done to the female youth of her time has dissipated to the point that they no longer let such a talentless, out of her prime, super model get so much attention and produce so many terrible shows. Next stop reality television stars.