Note for future posts:

So a couple of years ago I tried to get on staff at the Onion and failed.  One part was due to the fact that I don't live in New York City, (which is where most of their writers reside.) and the other is because I had very little material to show them.  Another contributor most likely is that there are also thousands of writers who would like to write for them, many of them far more accomplished than I, and I probably mis-spelled something within in the first few sentences and rightfully got passed over immediately.  In the next couple of months I'm going to be writing onion style news.  Really it's just for fun, and I know I can write some funny fake news, but I also will probably apply to them once again some day, and this blog may help me convince them of my skills.  The Horo-scope this shit will still be in effect being that I got the idea from the Onion, and I might throw personal thoughts on here as well, but if you see a fake headline, image, and article it is in the spirit of the Onion.